I really have been horrible at sitting since my last post as I have way too much to do, and when I have been able to get to my mat, I'm able to do a whole 15 minutes before I feel guilty for doing nothing and bounce up. Busy schedule, busy mind, way too much on my mind, and I haven't even started what we're supposed to be doing the next two weeks because I have had no time to review loving kindness meditations. I'm trying to be nicer to myself though. I figure it's a start.

There's been a few situations over the last couple days I could have handled more mindfully. Friday I was trying to trek over to Leah's house when I couldn't find my wallet. I exploded into panic as I had been at the dry cleaner's and grocery store earlier and was worried my wallet had slipped out of my bag on the way home from both and would have been completely gone by the time I realized it. I ran around my house panicing and swearing and all around my house, checked all my bags, etc, freaking out. Of course, the wallet was underneath my yoga bag, which I had put on the couch to pack for Leah's. Of course it was. It just amused me that instead of taking a break I just flipped my shit and got to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't stop thinking about all the cash I had in there (birthday money) which I needed to use for bills and how they wouldn't get paid and couldn't stop panicing. Not sleeping and then panicing because I have insomnia hasn't been exactly mindful either. Praise Jesus for sugar free red bull, since that's all I'm running on these days.

There's been a few more but I can't write about them publicly. I'll try to find time to sit tonight or tomorrow but honestly I'm so exhausted right now I'll probably fall asleep if I do.