10h00 am
just after getting back from the gym

Finding stillness and sitting after I get back from a hard work out is always an interesting experience, because it serves to me as a reminder that the body is never quite still. Although this month we're focusing more on mental formations and what is going on in the mind, it was cool to sit with my body for a few moments as I felt different muscles throb, pulse, quiver, and find their way to relaxation. I was also quite aware of all the tension I was carrying between my shoulders and felt like I wasn't able to relax enough to ease the tension.

My mind ticked off lists of things I need to do, and I felt stress come into my body as I noticed my heart beating a little louder. I kind of laughed, because it was funny how rapid thoughts had such an impact on my physical body! Its like stress is my automatic reaction as soon as my mind tells me I have to do this and this and this and this and this today. Two days off from teaching, but I still have 8-10 hours of rehearsals as I have a show on Saturday, and my brain was just not having relaxation and quiet!

Impatience as I checked my cell phone 10 minutes before I was to end my sit. I actually ended bouncing up with five minutes to go so I could jump in the shower to "start my day".

Also debating on what I meant by "mindful tea making practice". My mom was right when she used to tell me a watched pot never boils, and waiting for my tea kettle to start making noise has been a hard practice, as often times I'm left to stare at it for 5-10 minutes waiting for water to boil. I'll have to reconsider that mindful practice.