1. Much of contemporary hatha-yoga is lacking the traditional initiation and guru-disciple relationship. Do you feel one can achieve the higher realizations of Yoga outside of this traditional mold? If yes, what makes you think so?/
I do, because our western world and my spiritual community engages in the sangha aspect of yoga, and I feel that when we come together a group to learn and share ideas and love, we create the foundations to achieve these higher spiritual realizations by ourselves and as a community. I feel so blessed to be a part of my sangha and love how they have helped me grow into the woman I've become.
2. In Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, there is a discussion of ishvara, who is said to be the teacher of all yogins. Consider what this means or what might have prompted Patanjali to put forward his particular version of theism?
I am taking the extremely lazy approach to answer this question, and say that Patanjali probably put this forward so that he could get what he felt to be his message about yoga out to the masses. When it's hot, I shouldn't be working on stuff.
3. In traditional societies, a name is considered a source of power and as being imbubed with special significance. Initiates are given a new name in recognition of their spiritual rebirth. Does your name hold any significance for you? How does it relate to your sense of identity?
I was actually jokingly given a name by my teacher, Ted Grand, when I asked him how people got names and if I could get one. However, everyone thought Karina'nanda was so beautiful it stuck, and that is what everyone calls me. It's lovely :) Karina holds significance to me as it was originally my middle name, which I legally changed to my first name when I was 18. I always felt more connected to it than the name given me, and when I made people call me Karina starting at the ripe old age of 12, I felt more empowered and more of my own person.
1. What do you perceive to be the qualification of a guru?/
Someone who is knowledgable, honest, fair, and a good teacher - and all these qualities can be extremely subjective to each and every person who seeks a teacher.
2. What qualities appeal to you in a teacher?/
Someone who is honest, fair, knowledgable, understanding and patient. Also willing to challenge me and push me to be my best.
3. Do you feel the need for a spiritual guide or is it unnecessary for you on your spiritual path?/
I do feel the need to have some sort of guidance on my path, which is why I keep in contact with my teachers and come to them with questions should the need arise. Most of the time, I find the answers were within me the entire time, but it's nice to be able to go to someone and hear them voice what I'm thinking and validate how I feel.
4. Do you think you would benefit from a teacher who maintains a more traditional authoritarian role?/
Hell no! I know this through personal experience based on the voice teachers and music teachers I have gone through. I need someone who is willing to work with what I have and not try to make me into something that I am not. I always think a collaborative partnership is best (it's the social worker in me).
5. The traditional model of studentship in the Vedic system was a rite of passage for young males before they could enter the adult life. This marked a time where they could have a sound religious/spiritual orientation toward life before making practical choices. Whether they decided to continue on in a vocation dedicating their full life to spirituality was partly an individual choice. This type of rite of passage occured in most traditional societies. Do oyu feel it is missing from contemporary life?/
Well, it is definitely not in contemporary life, but as a woman, who wouldn't be able to do these sorts of passages, I say good riddance to it and thank God it is missing! I'd have not been able to study Yoga if it were in contemporary life!
6. Does accepting a guru appeal to you? Why or why not? Have you had any mentors or close personal teachers that have simulated the role of a traditional guru?
It's pretty common place in the music world, so yes. My first voice teacher I studied with for ten years. I didn't live with her or anything but she taught me so much of what I know about music and vocal technique. I would say my teachers/mentors in my life are my gurus, but not necessarily in the traditional sense.
In traditional contexts, the psychological distance between the guru and the disciple is greatly proportioned. Do you feel the traditional relations between guru and disciple applies cross culturally?/
I think it would be a bit of an adjustment to apply these cross culturally but it wouldn't be anything that can't be done. Personally, I wouldn't want a guru that felt he was an expert and I was the village idiot seeking knowledge. I would want someone that would work with me and be a guide, but at the same time allow me to have enough freedom to make mistakes and learn for myself.
Reflecting on the traditional models of spiritual development, what is your notion of a spiritually advanced individual? Think of those by whom you have been deeply inspired or who you feel are spiritually mature. What is it about them that makes them spiritual according to your judgment? Is it their loving presence or practicality and stability in difficult circumstanceS? Is it compassion or wisdom, renunciation or charisma?
I think of the people I have been influenced by the most spiritually and I think its has to do with their loving presence. To me, the reason we are here is love, so someone who personifies love to me, such as Mother Theresa, is someone who is spiritually advanced. Someone who has so much love in her heart that she can live where she did and care for the people that no one else would, even when they were dying, is akin to God to me. It is what inspired me to go in to social work, which I feel is more of a labour of love more than anything else. I believe the highest calling anyone can have is to be of service to others, as one who services others services the world, and helps to create a better place to be in.
2. What spiritual goals have you set for yourself and how do you go about realizing them?
My focus in life is to be absolutely present, which I admit is such a hard thing for me to do. I try to go about realizing this by monitoring my mind and being aware of what I am doing and what I can do to change how I think and feel and observing my thoughts and stuff like that. I try to focus on my breath and have bells of mindfulness in my life that I use to remind me to stop for a moment to breathe.
3. In Bhagavad-Gita, Arjuna asks Krishna to describe to him the characteristics of an enlightened or Self-realized adept. What do you think of Krishna's answer?
I'd say it's pretty straight forward and classic... which I guess is why we say this is Classical Yoga no? In reading this I feel as if I have read it before - different texts talking about working towards the same goal of freedom and transcendence.
1. Consider whether Mantra-Yoga is a form, branch, or school of yoga.
Mantra Yoga is generally a repetition of a sacred syllable or phrase given to a student by their teacher to repeat and meditate upon. In Yoga Foundations this is said to be given to the students who are perceived to be weak and ill mannered; etc. Not very positive! I would have to say that Mantra Yoga is a form of yoga.
2. How would you define Yoga? Which of the definitions given above under Additional Source Materials #9 do you most resonate with?
I define yoga for myself as a system of right living. It is a set of moral values to me, which helps me to guide my life and help me make better decisions for myself without the dogma of any sort of organized religion. Yoga is a system that allows me to come to self acceptance. The two quotes I most resonate with: Yoga is said to be the unity of exhalation and inhalation and of blood and semen, as well as the union of sun and moon and of the individual psyche with the transcendental self.; Yoga is the control of the whirls of the mind.
3. If self transcendence lies at the heart of all Yoga, how does this tally with the definition of Yoga as "control"?
One has to practice control in order to transcend, right? Yoga is about learning to control desires, thoughts, habit energy, etc. By being able to control our mind and our thoughts and what we are experiencing we can better transcend to whatever our perceived moksha is.
4. Do you feel that any of Yoga's teachings contradict your own religious beliefs? If so, which? How do you resolve the conflict?
I do not practice sort of any major religion so I am not in conflict with any of my yoga beliefs and religious beliefs. If I were, religions preach acceptance, so any sort of organized religious structure would just have to deal with it :P
5. What do you think of the claim made by some people that Jesus visited Kashmir and that he was inspired by yogic wisdom?
Good for Christ! I think that this claim should be studied as it could carry great messages that Jesus had wanted to share and teach his disciples and spread for generations to come. I believe that it could possible open up a new wave of Christianity for the future and rid Christianity of what it has become with people spreading hate and accusing others unlike them of bigotry and sin.
1. Consider what the traditional goal of Yoga - liberation - means to you.
I practice yoga to feel liberated from my mind, as I believe my mind is what holds me back from accomplishing what it is I set out to do. It quiets my mind, it helps me notice thought patterns, and allows me to study myself.
2. Consider whether and to what degree you want to transform yourself with the aid of yoga. Make a list of all the things you do to make the yogic/spiritual transformation possible in your case. And then make a list of all the things you do that prevent you from changing profoundly.
I practice yoga so that I can be free from the suffering that I create for myself. I practice physical asana and meditation, and study yoga and meditation as well. My list of what I do to prevent myself from changing profoundly is and will remain private.
3. As we grow on the yogic path, the insights of great masters can be a wonderful source of inspiration for us. The yoga tradition is our common heritage, a living record against which our insights can be tested and examined. What ideas from yoga have been particularly helpful to you personally?
I really liked that yogic philosophy provided me with an understanding that everything is inter-related and we all inter-are. It is something that I've always felt is the truth and it was great for me to learn that what I thought was actually out there in some sort of philosophical thought.
1. From how many different angles can you view a particular event? Assuming (as we do in this course) that on the deepest level we are all concerned with inner freedom and ultimate happiness, how would you teach spiritual values and practices knowing people are so different? Could there be a single formula for taking all people into account equally?
I usually try to see an event from separate angles and try not to be ignorant to any one particular type of view. I think when trying to teach the masses one particular thing, you just need to allow for them to find freedom through using their own life experiences and to make meaning for themselves. One is bound to be more at peace when their knowledge is self gained and they have been able to make meaning with it. I don't think there is one single formula - I think we all have to do which works best for us, allowing ourselves to teach and be taught on the way.
2. How free are you? How free do you think are the people around you? Do you feel free enough to consider anything whatsoever in the privacy of your own mind? How free is our so-called free society really? How do habit patterns infringe on your freedom? How does your inner sense of freedom - or its absence - affect your perception and understanding of the world?
What a loaded question just in time for the G20. Hahahaha. It's a question I really don't know how to answer. I guess I am free to a point where I place my own limitations on myself, and where society limits me as well. Like, I don't post every thought and feeling I have online into the real world, but I do feel free enough in my mind that I can allow every thought I have to pass through it. Habit patterns infringe a lot on my freedom if I let them. I find that on days when I feel more free and my mind feels more free, I can absorb information like a sponge and my perception and understanding of the world is more fluid and flowing. On days when my mind is not free it is the polar opposite - stormy, scary, and definitely not good!
3. Make a list of your ten most cherished beliefs and consider how you aquired them and whether they are absolute truths or models. Also observe how these beliefs operate openly or secretly in your daily life.
I've also established that I do not believe anything can be absolute truth, as that is something that is so beyond our comprehension! So I feel that because of this that everything I believe in is a model. The one exception to this is probably love, as I feel that love is so abstract and so huge that no one will ever be able to fully begin to understand it.
Do you agree with Rudyard Kipling that there is no common ground between East and West? How, if at all, can you integrate the two distinct cultural styles in your own life? How can we overcome cultural stereotypes that are in the way of our understanding and appreciation of Eastern teachings?
I think I took the first step integrating the two when I decided to study eastern philosophy and practice yoga. The common ground between East and West are the people who make a commitment in their daily lives to research and study their cultures and seek to come to a mutual understanding. That is how we can work to break down stereotypes and learn to understand and appreciate teachings from both communities.
1. What is your model of reality? What are your answers to the Big Questions: Who am I? Whence do I come? Whither do I go? What must I do? How well developed is your philosophy(we all have one!)? What are the main sources for your philosophical understanding of the world? What place does Yoga have in your model?
It's so funny for me to approach these questions as I keep thinking there is this right or wrong answer and I should know by now there isn't, and yet here I sit, wondering who will read this and whether or not they'll approve. Mind is such a silly little thing.
My model of reality is presence. I believe that if one stays in the present moment and operates from this perspective, one can attain Nirvana and find God. My spiritual peace and my nirvana hasn't even come from meditation. It's come through singing, through playing the french horn, and through playing the piano.
In answering who am I, I can chose to socially locate myself or I can chose to be esoteric. Not only am I a young girl who wears many hats and holds lots of different interests and has a great family and some pretty kick ass friends, I'm also a spiritual being who has some extremely human experiences. I am part of All That Is, and everything I say and do has an effect on the Universe and everything around me, whether or not I know it. This is why I try to be a good person and live with love and speak from my heart and engage in right speech and right action. I don't do this all the time. That's why I say I'm a spiritual being having a human experience.
Quite literally, I came from my mama's loins :P, but I believe soooo many things had to come before me in order to set the stage for me to even exist. If you wanted to get really technical, we could start with the Big Bang.
I don't know where I am going, to be honest. Some days I feel like I'm going to hell in a handbasket. Other days I feel like I've bought myself a one day ticket to Samadhiland. Either way, I make it my life's goal to be as present as possible and to try to find love and beauty in every person I encounter, every situation I find myself in, and every moment I experience breath. I feel that in this life I must love, love, love and love, and teach others to love as well. I feel that the main purpose in anyone's life, the entire reason we exist on this Earth, is because of love, and I want to show the world that it's what we need from each other and to give to each other.
I feel like my life philosophy is pretty well developed, but obviously, I'm open and willing to learn more about other systems of right living, obviously, as I wouldn't be taking this course. Most of my philosophy I've developed from studying yoga and Buddhism and Dharma and meditating. I haven't really studied any of the "classic" Greek and Roman philosophers; I think I failed intro philosophy when I was in university because my brain wasn't in a headspace where it was willing to absorb that sort of information when I took that course. Yoga was my introduction to all of this, and it's helped me build a firm, significant foundation and opened up the door to so many other modes and theories of life. I love it.
2. What, in your view, is truth or reality? How does it differ from a model?
Any teachings are never 100% truth, but are based on what we feel to be true (which is there biases come in as well). Reality is a concept so vast that no one will ever be able to grasp what it actually is and means. We created models based on articulations of truth to help us become deeper, more spiritual beings, as they allow us to face ourselves in the right direction so that we can come to deeper meaning of life and all that exists.
So I am three weeks into my study course with Georg Feuerstein. I find I have the same release valves with this as I do with regular school - resistance to studying, the urge to skim paragraphs, and having to retrain my brain to read actual paragraphs and not the 140+ info blips I see and read on facebook and twitter day in and day out.
Here is me reflecting. I have a cold and don't want to. But I'd also like to complete this course in under three years. Kinda feeling overwhelmed.
1. How do you relate to knowledge? Do you collect information like some people or collect knickknacks? Do you regard knowledge as an avenue to wisdom? Or do you consider wisdom something radically different from knowledge?
I love knowledge. I love learning. I definitely love "collecting" knowledge whether it is something I need to learn for school, for work, or if I just want to learn something to impress people. I feel that the more knowledge I gain through outside sources, the more I can come to understand myself better. Because of this, then yes, I would regard knowledge as an avenue to wisdom. Without learning the things I have learned, whether it be through a book or from the School of Hard Knocks, I think the insight and knowledge and life lessons gained through those experience has allowed me to gain more wisdom and insight into myself and how I tick. I wouldn't yet consider myself wise, as knowledge needs to ferment and grow and solidify into my every day life, but I am definitely on that path to wisdom!
2. What knowledge has had the most transformative effect on your and how did it shape you?
The insight and knowledge I gained doing my mindfulness meditation teacher training dramatically shaped my life for the better. While I wouldnt' necessarily say I live my life in mindfulness 100% of the time, this training has allowed me to incorporate the proper tools into my life so that I can be a more mindful person and strive to live that way. In my personal life, I'm much calmer, less judgmental, and am slowly learning to let go and/or not take things personally. In my professional life I've been able to incorporate mindfulness intervention based practices with my clients. It has shaped me into more of the person that I want to be in this life- kind, insightful, objective, and peaceful.
3. Do you think there is such a think as "objective" knowledge? Can we ever step out of our skin to know things as they really are?
This question reminds me so much of school! I don't think that any sort of knowledge can be 100% objective, no. Every piece of research, whether it is scientific or not, carries some bias. This bias can be shown by who is conducting the study and their motivation for doing it, what corporation or person or funders provide the money for to foot the bill for the study, and even the subject matter being studied can all promote some sort of bias or non-objectivity. The scientific method seeks to break down these barriers and gives us some sort of structured, linear way of gaining knowledge and provides accountability to those involved in the research, however even this is not fail proof. But using that, we have to know that the scientific method is very western based in its approach to research methodology and doesn't take into account the vast cultures and resources and people who also span the earth and might gain and develop knowledge through different levels of methodology. An example of this would be the story telling our Aboriginal ancestors used to pass along information to generations of Aboriginal children - that, of course, coming with its own biases and non-objectivity itself.
Knowing we are a part of All That Is and that everything is interconnected and we all inter are with everything that exists in the universe is a way of being able to be objective - when you know that we all inter-are, then we can be all and see things as they really are. So perhaps yes, eventually we can obtain knowledge objectively through understanding that concept, but how many people can really, truly, understand that? That's enlightenment.
4. Alexander Pope wrote that the proper object of study should be humankind itself. What would be your response to him?
Why not study humankind? Perhaps if we learned more about ourselves we'd be more respectful of everything else.
5. What is the difference between knowledge and information? People speak of "information overload" and the "knowledge explosion". How do you relate to both?
To me, information is something you process but not necessarily file away and keep for the long term. If someone informs me of the weather today, it will matter to me when I make my decisions on what to wear or bring along with me in my backpack. But the weather today isn't going to matter to me tomorrow, when there will be a new forecast and I will need to adjust what I'm wearing and what I take to work with me. Knowledge is something you obtain and process and file away and keep for the long term. For example, while I might not think back year after year how the weather was on Sunday, June 13th, I know from living in a temperate climate my entire life that summer in Toronto can mean rain, heat, or mild temperatures. Without obtaining any specific information (the forecast) I can use my knowledge of Canadian summers to think about what I might wear outside - most likely jeans, a tank top, and maybe bring along a light jacket or hoodie with me if I'm going to be out late. That would make me comfortable. I could also bundle up and risk heat stroke too. We need to have both knowledge and information in our lives, and what we do with them is up to us.
6. When we say "I know", we sometimes really mean "I assume". Consider some of your basic "knowledges" and determine whether you truly know or are merely making assumptions. Where, in your case, is the dividing line between knowledge and faith?
I think my answer to the previous question was an excellent segue to this one. OK. So I don't know for sure what Toronto summers are like. But I assume how their weather is based on growing up in places like Chicago and Berlin, which tend to have all four seasons. They're also located in the central part of the Northern Hemisphere, allowing me to assume that they'll have similar weather and heat and cold patterns to each other as well. So that is how I can build my assumption on what the weather will be like on any given day. I also make assumptions for things like dinner choices, what my cat is trying to tell me, and even when working with clients. Faith, to quote Miracle on 34th Street, is the ability to believe in something when common sense tells you not to. Faith is being able to hold beliefs in things that might not be tangible, such as ideas and hopes and apirations and dreams. One can use their knowledge to attain these, I believe, which to me makes faith and knowledge one and the same.
7. What role do you assign to knowledge in religio-spiritual matters? Is it all right to take things on faith or should we always gain absolute certainty?
I don't think I could ever be 100% certain about anything, as life tends to be pretty unpredictable. I can form assumptions and ideas based on casual relationships, and I can take knowledge gained and chose to further deconstruct and pursue it more academically, or I can sit on it and let it ferment in my own mind without the aid of textbooks and periodical articles. When it comes to knowledge gained on religio-spiritual matters I like to learn what I can and apply it to my life how it works best for me. Some people criticize this spiritual buffet table sort of approach to religion, but to me, if the entire point of religion and spirituality are about attaining absolute freedom in yourself (nirvana) then why tie yourself up to religious constraints? What worked for others might not necessarily work for you.
8. Many, if not most, Western Yoga practitioners have very little interest in studying Yoga, feeling that it is more important to practice. Do you believe it is possible to practice Yoga authentically without also studying it?
This question kind of made me laugh. I don't see how this is possible. One of my teachers, Frank Jude Boccio, once told me that yoga is a system of right living. Even those who use yoga as a rigorous form of exercise also report the mental health benefits it also provides. I believe as a teacher, I need to not only engage in physical asana but also need to live my life in a way that is yogic and try to adhere to the yamas and the niyamas (for those of you who have no idea what this is, think of it as the yogic Ten Commandments) so that I may practice what I preach and try to engage my students. This is my bias talking, but why wouldn't anyone want to actively study it as well? And what is practice? Practice could be physical asana, however, practicing yoga might also be taking a deep breath and counting to ten before you get angry at your children, or observing and enjoying and being in the present moment in any given situation.
9. Studying Yoga will certainly give us valuable information, but do you feel that it also can inspire, uplift, and motivate us. What are your reasons for studying?
I am hoping to be inspired, uplifted and motivated! That's basically why I wanted to study. I also feel that it can further help me be a better social worker and better yoga instructor. I'd also eventually like to be invited to teach yoga history and philosophy at Moksha teacher training courses so that's a big motivator for undertaking this course!
10. Do you tend to think you "don't know anything"? Or do you take pride in your knowledge? Do you think knowledge is power?
I do take pride that I know things, but I also am humbled with respect that I do not necessarily know everything (as much as I like to think I do, at times). Knowledge might not necessarily be power, but knowledge does lead to change. I believe that change, positive or negative, is power.
I can already feel my personal release valves in this undertaking of the 800 hour course.
Currently I'm listening to the eighth section of Feuerstein's CD and already my mind is racing ahead to last four lectures, and what I'm going to be doing after that, and how I'm going to study, and what I'm going to read, and where I'm going to study...
Presence Karina. Presence.
Although my official start date for my Traditional Yoga Studies course with Georg Feuerstein isn't until June 1st, I have started the preparation (listening to his audio CD, The Lost Teachings of Yoga) this week, as these next few weeks are going to be really busy and I'd rather get a leg up now before I'm stressing myself out, forgetting that I have three years to get through these 800 hours and it doesn't have to be done in one month.
I don't even think with one month of solitude one would even be able to undertake and complete all 800 hours!
I had an opportunity to practice mindfulness today when I spilled boiling hot coffee all down the front of me. Did I? Nah. I screamed and swore and ripped my clothes off and ran around the house naked trying to clean it up. After that drama, I decided to strive to turn this experience into a mindfulness practice by allowing myself to pay attention to my breath, notice the stinging pain of the hot coffee on my belly, boobs, thighs, crotch... it wasn't as awful as I was imagining. No blistering. Just pink. I'd live. I also decided to not let it ruin my Sunday morning and stuck with my original plan of making meals to reheat over the course of the week, while listening to The Lost Teaching of Yoga on mp3.
Even though I'm being all studious and reading and writing and studying and meditating, my asana practice is suffering. I have very little free time these days, and it makes my personal practice non-existant, as the times I am free isn't when I get get to a class in a studio. This makes for practicing self discipline, but I can only do so much yin yoga or non heated Moksha or P90X yoga at my home. I also hate hate hate practicing on carpeting. I need to find my way to my mat soon, especially now that I am gearing up for Level II training in Costa Rica.
After the long weekend I am going to make a more conscious effort to get to an asana class three times per week. I have 180 days until Costa Rica and should be more worried about practicing yoga than fitting into a swim suit. I'm also going to make more of an effort to write about my yoga journeys in here as I've really abandoned this blog (again, life happens) and want to really learn. I feel like I've been going through a huge self growth transformation since March and want to record that.
“This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body” – Walt Whitman
I feel like no matter how settled I think I am, my life can go off in 1000 different directions on a moment's notice.
I applied for social work jobs in the UK this morning since I'm so fearful of not getting my contract extended and not getting a job in Toronto. I didn't want to head overseas until I got permanent residency here, but more than anything I need money, and I need to move to where the money is. Hence my also applying for jobs in Montreal, Halifax, Vancouver, Los Angeles, San Diego, and all over Hawaii.
I feel like the one thing that is the biggest barrier for me currently is money. I'm terrified I'll have to move back to Chicago, and I know that I'll be even worse off there than I am here - cuz this time around I won't have access to a car to get me places, I'll have maybe one or two friends as opposed to the whole network of friends I have here, and more family drama I prefer to distance myself from. I have considered moving back, but when I weigh the pros and cons, there are so many more cons than there are pros. I truly think moving back would be a huge step back for me.
But if my contract doesn't get extended and I can't find a job, what are my other options? Sure I can go back to full time yoga teaching, but that's only sustainable for a short time. $2000/month doesn't allow me to save for anything, nor pay off debts. Since I've been working for COTA, I was able to pay off and cancel three credit cards, finance my trips to Vancouver, Germany, and Costa Rica, and over all not stress out about money to the point where I lost sleep.
If I woke up tomorrow morning and my life was perfect I'd:
have a full time permanent position at COTA
have enough money to pay down my debt
have a smooth application process with immigration Canada
have a voice teacher
be planning some nice European vacation minus psychotic German boys
be in a healthy, reciprocated, passionate, romantic relationship with a man who treats me like the queen that I am
be in a position to do the things I need to do so I can go back to school and get a college diploma or a master's degree in music therapy
I feel like I'm stuck in this vortex and all this shit is spinning around me and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or where the fuck I'm going. And there's this huge big financial piece that is standing in the way and I don't know what to do about it. I also feel like I wasted too much time in undergrad and don't know how I'm going to commit to doing something else, when I'd like to get married, I'd like to start a family, and I don't see how that is possible to do both.
In all honesty, I just want to fucking cry.
*edit*
on the flip side, I guess it's better to be stressed about having too much opportunity than upset because I don't have enough. Still am gonna spend the next half hour crying though. Then I need to get over it cuz I gotta go teach.
I need a job where I can:
-make music
-help others
-create beauty
-travel the world
-engage in scientific research.
Let's make that happen.
Any other additional comments or observations you wish to share?
Nope!
Hurray!
What would you like to see or have had more of or less of? What ways can this training be improved?
MORE OF THESE QUESTIONS. I realize writing and discussion isn't how everyone learns, but I really truly LOVED the questions posted on the discussion board. I know I didn't respond to the board personally, but I did respond in here, and when there were lots of questions for me to answer and lots of things for me to think about, that's when I felt I got the most out of my learning on this journey. Maybe it's because that's just how I learn best, but I truly felt the most connected to this process when I was answering questions as opposed to writing yoga routines and exploring the foundations of mindfulness. Or I'm just a big nerd. :) I feel I would have gotten more out of it at the end of each month if there were additional questions to answer based on what we had studied that month as opposed to writing a guided meditation/asana/savasana practice.
I would have also appreciated going into the distance component knowing exactly how much would have been expected of us each month. It felt at times were were eased into it the first few months, and then things started to get a wee bit crazy with so much walking meditation/sitting meditation for long periods of time. I felt guilty because I mostly did seated meditation (and towards the end, speed walking meditation) and would do it either/or, not both/and. But at the same time I guess it's all a part of keeping it mindful and being in the present moment... also learning that life sucks ;)
I really did appreciate, though, how Frank was sooooo responsive and so participative in my journey. I loved his comments on my entires, I loved our phone calls, and I really loved how available he made himself to me (and I'm sure everyone else). I don't think I ever had to wait more than a day or two for a response to a question or an email and that's always really appreciated as a student. I adore insanely compassionate, knowledgeable teachers who can make things reeeeeally easy for me to understand... because sometimes I need things dumbed way down :)
I do feel it was worthwhile to take it. While I haven't found the time to really use it as a yoga and meditation instructor, I do plan on implementing mindfulness based practices with clients and staff alike and feel it's proven itself to be invaluable to me as a social work practitioner.
Tell me a bit about your overall feelings and experience of this training and of the practice of mindfulness.
I'm going to save my feelings for question 12 as I feel that part ties in more with what's asked in the next question.
While I don't really have much to say on the day to day experience of micro practices and sitting and bells of mindfulness (as I've said it already in a previous question) but I think that I am really starting to like the person I've become and will continue to become as a result of this training. In my day to day life there isn't much of a change, but in my overall life, I do think this training has helped me overcome a lot of obstacles.
For example, it has revolutionized how I am as a social worker and social work practitioner. I am such a different worker now that I was last year. I'm not sure if its because I got into the area of the field I wanted to be in (mental health) as opposed to being in the area I was before (child welfare/protection) but I can so much better handle the daily stressors of my job, the nature of my job, and my clients. I find myself to be more patient, more compassion and empathic to the needs of my clients AND myself (my self-care has skyrocketed. That's a friggen first). I also find that because I do take the time to slow down and observe that my thinking is clearer. I have the ability to quickly diffuse potentially stressful and dangerous situations. In dealing with clients, advice and counseling phrases have come out of my mouth that I didn't even remember I learned! I've also found myself to be more resilient. December was a difficult time for our team, as we were dealing with a severe staff shortage, the death of a coworker, Christmas preparations and then the death of a client. Looking back, I'm not sure how I got through all of that, plus the death of a friend, an extremely busy concert and rehearsal schedule, and teaching, but I did. I knew going into the month I'd have to be absolutely present, and for the most part, I think I did a good job.
I try not to pat myself on the back too much cuz I realize next month it could be even worse and I could lose my shit, but I do think this training has taught me the importance of being absolutely present in every moment of the day.
What has been the greatest challenge for you in practicing mindfulness yoga?
Getting time to sit. We were told at the beginning of our journey to "just sit" and to stop making excuses. While I understand that, when my life got extremely crazy it was hard for me to "just sit" as "just sitting" meant a half hour where I could be sleeping, cooking, or cleaning. It was getting to the point where I just felt anxiety towards sitting, and didn't look forward to it, and overall hated what I was doing. The thought of withdrawing from the training didn't enter my mind, but I knew that in order to finish I'd have to restructure both my mind and how I viewed mindfulness. It also helped having a very compassionate teacher to help me through the process and make the work load a little easier for me... and peer support from other friends doing the training too was always wonderful to have!
I did learn, however, the difference between making up excuses and not having any time. I would say the excuse making occurred more in my beginning months of practice. Towards the end, my life was so insanely busy I think trying to cram one more thing in would have landed me in hospital. I would prefer to not be the first yogini to end up in the ER because she sat on her meditation cushion, yannow?
Describe the function and purpose of micro-practices and bells of mindfulness.
Micro-practices and bells of mindfulness have definitely been the heart of the past six months for me. I feel as if I have gotten more out of these than I have meditation. Their function serves as a reminder (and sometimes, a reality check!) throughout my day as I do daily activities and go about my life, to refocus and regroup, become aware of my breath, and perhaps slow down. My micro practices are things I do every day - such as shower, brush my teeth, cook, wash dishes, and my bells of mindfulness are random events that happen throughout the day - text messages, sirens, etc, that remind me to pause for a moment and breathe. They're the heart of my practice as a yogini.
Define in your own words: impermanence, not-self, emptiness, suchness. Why does the Buddha stress awareness of impermanence, and how does it relate to other concepts?
Impermanence is the knowledge that everything around is is constantly changing. Nothing ever is static, or remains the same.
Not-self is how we as humans, should strive to exist - not limiting our identity by the use of labels, but rather recognizing that we are subject to change, evolve, and devolve. We aren't really anything. We just are, and we just exist. Anything else is a label that we or society gives ourselves.
Emptiness is going to be a bit harder for me to describe. It's not the feeling of being alone or socially rejected or isolated as we know this word to be. I think really it's recognizing that we are free of thoughts, free of desires and wants and anything else that can bring about dukha in our lives.
Suchness is being able to recognize what comes and goes, and noticing the little things and the big things all around us. To me, it's the essence of mindfulness.
I think impermanence is stressed so much because it really is the basis of everything. While things are here, they might not be here tomorrow, whether that is material possessions, loved ones, enemies, jobs, beliefs, even countries and cities. Because we as humans have a natural tendency to cling to all of these abstract and physical objects, labeling them as "mine" or "ours", we create dukha for ourselves, as if these objects go away, we are left with a sense of longing or bereavement. If we can recognize that while we have these things in the present moment, and we might not have them tomorrow, we can begin to free ourselves from dukha as we've recognized that things can change.
What are the qualities of mindfulness?
I would say not trying to achieve something, not being so goal-oriented, just observing things as they are and being unattached to outcomes. Not being judgemental, being accepting, loving kindness, the ability to observe and let go, and being generous, open, and trusting. Patience.
Reading over the list I just compiled, I feel like I have a long way to go, especially when it comes to patience, trust, and letting go.
What are mental formations? How do we work with them in meditation and asana practice?
To me, mental formations are our personal roadblocks. They are the stories that I create in my head which convince me if I can or can't do something. They play a huge component when I'm doing unkind things to myself, like self sabotage. When I'm working with my (mental health) clients, I call them self fulfilling prophecies. I think they encompass a broader scope than that though. Mental formations may also start out on a positive note (as in being in love in a new relationship) and soon these feelings of love can slowly start to spin out of control and within two weeks you have already planned your wedding and named your children and sent them off to university. When he failed to return your phone call after your second date.
Either way, mental formations lead to suffering, which is something we want to be free from in our lives.
In meditation and asana practice I observe them when they start, and I encourage my students to do the same. If I feel my mind spinning out of control I try to redirect and return to my breath. Sometimes I can. Sometimes I can't. Sometimes I do feel the need to let them spin out of control because that in and of itself detoxifies my mind. I don't know... I guess sometimes I feel that if I just observe and notice and go back to my breath I end up burying feelings and emotion? I don't want to do that, because when I do, I feel like I'll explode. And that's not pretty.
How would you describe the subtle distinction between sensation (feeling) and emotion? Why did the Buddha teach that it is so important to learn to observe sensation?
I would have to say that to me, a sensation precedes emotion. Say I feel something that causes me discomfort - whether it's a headache, a sore muscle, or even a heartache. That's a physiological sensation. Once my brain notices these physiological sensations, it interprets this sensation based on what is going on in my environment. So if it's a headache, I may interpret the throbbing pain in my head is related to stress, anger, sickness, grief, etc. If it's a sore muscle, I may conclude that I am feeling discomfort in my muscles because I am being held too long in a yoga posture. If I feel a sort of pain or hallowness in my heart I might attribute this to sadness, emptiness, anger, etc. To me I think emotions are responses to physiological stimuli. I could be way wrong though. But this is how it all makes sense to me.
The Buddha says we need to learn to observe sensation because if we don't observe the sensation for what it is (a physiological response) our minds can interpret this response and let it turn into something bigger than what it really is. Considering the muscle soreness from holding a posture longer than I normally do. If I don't know that the discomfort is just discomfort, my mind will tell me it's the instructor's fault for keeping me here this long. My mind will then tell me that they're an awful teacher who likes to do nothing but torture their students, and go on and on, possibly psychoanalyzing said teacher as a control freak, linking them to all sorts of behavioural and personality disorders, and so on, and so forth. That is the reason we need to keenly observe sensation - if we don't we end up allowing our emotions to control us all of the time.
Describe each of the Four Foundations of Mindfulness. Include an enumeration of the "contents" of each foundation (for example, in the First Foundation, "Body in the Body", the two "contents" are the breath and the five elements) and briefly give instruction on how to practice with each Foundation.
(I'm inwardly groaning as I type this because I feel like this is all I've been doing the past six months :P)
So as the question states, the First Foundation of mindfulness is, indeed, the contemplation of the body. Some of the objects we focus on in this foundation (contents) is obviously the body, and positions and postures of the body as well. When practicing the First Foundation, really try to be in your body and out of your brain whether you are in a quiet, seated pose, or are in a vigorous asana class. Observe the muscles stretching. Observe the difference between pain in pain and pain in discomfort. Observe if you are standing evenly on all four corners of your feet; if your ears are in line with your shoulders. Be aware of your breath and how it can change the timbre of the pose you are in - what happens to the body as you inhale and exhale into the posture.
The Second Foundation of mindfulness is the contemplation of the feelings (not to be confused with emotions). In this contemplation, we focus on identifying the roots of feelings (pleasant, unpleasant and neutral) and the feelings themselves. In practice, we can identify our feelings as they come up as we sit, or move in and out of postures. In our practice, we can identify if a pose or a thought feels pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral to us. We can notice if we let go of that pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral feeling or sensation or if we cling to it, developing an emotional response to it.
Being aware of the mind is what the Third Foundation of mindfulness is all about. It's a natural progression, as we've already started with the body and sensations. Our mind is what interprets the sensations our bodies experience. The mind takes these pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral feelings and develops stories, which potentially leads to suffering on our parts. Two of the observations we can focus on in contemplating the mind are anger and desire, both which obviously lead to suffering. In our practice, we can use the Third Foundation to observe what our mind is telling us. Are we letting thoughts of anger and desire control us? Are we becoming angry at having to hold a pose longer than we usually do? Are we clinging to feelings of relief when the teacher tells us to release the pose? We can sit with these feelings and observations, just seeing them for their true nature, training ourselves not to spin stories out of them and make them into being more than what they actually are.
The Fourth Foundation invites us to become aware of the objects of the mind. Two of the things we can contemplate in this foundation is observing mental formations, and bringing about peace in our lives from these observations. In practice, we can use these mindfulness trainings to observe our mental formations for exactly what they are, and by understanding the true nature of our feelings, we can begin to let go. We do not have to continue to spin stories to contribute to our suffering; we can just observe and sit with them and let them go, allowing us to cultivate a peaceful heart and peaceful mind. In practice, I usually remind myself to breathe through any sort of strife, or any sort of self-congratulatory thoughts (example, when I finally was able to do near standing splits in Natajarasana) and try not to cling to that one moment - knowing full well the next day I might not even be able to hold my balance in prepping for Natajarasana.
How are the Five Precepts (the Mindfulness Trainings) understood to be different than such codes as the Ten Commandments? Don't forget to give a very brief explanation of each of the Five Precepts.
The biggest difference between the five Mindfulness Trainings and other sorts of religious dogma such as the Ten Commandments is that they are merely suggestions laid out by the Buddha to help us ease suffering in our lives. They are very open to suggestion, debate, and interpretation. Bud never tells us what we should do, or how we should do it, but lays down for us suggestions as to how we might try to live our lives. I feel in doing this he allowed for people to be able to practice mindfulness no matter where they came from, what language they spoke, what social class they were a part of, or whether they were male, female, or transgendered, gay, straight or pansexual, or whatever religion they are currently a part of. The path of mindfulness can really work as a compliment to any sort of belief system.
The first training invites us to become aware of the delicacy of life, of death caused by destruction of life and suggest we shouldn't condone any act of killing in our world, our thinking, and in our lifestyles. Bud isn't necessarily telling us that we all must be vegan or vegetarian, because the simple act of plucking an apple from a tree does kill the apple. None of us could survive if we didn't kill something for a source of our food. Even as I type this, I'm currently taking antibiotics and antivirals to kill an infection so that I can function better as a person. I think though, that the Buddha just really wanted to make us think about how interconnected all of us are to the world - everything we do has a reaction that stems from it.
The second Mindfulness Training invites us to cultivate compassion and live our life in such a way that we respect others and do not try to advance ourselves using human suffering. To me, this means we need to be more socially aware of where our food and material needs come from.
The third training is about sexual misconduct. The Buddha encourages us to have loving relationships with each other and to not abuse or misuse sex, as it can lead to suffering. He also mentions child abuse in this as well. He invites us to be committed in our relationships so as to help our children, our loved ones, and the broader community.
The fourth training encourages us to practice Right Speech and to cultivate active listening. It also reminds us to not gossip, to be truthful, and to not say anything damaging to another person or about people in general. We are also told to try to resolve conflicts in peaceful ways.
The fifth Mindfulness Training talks about using mindful consumption. This is probably the broadest of all the trainings. It talks about ingesting things mindfully. While the Buddha does state we shouldn't use alcohol or other sorts of intoxicants as it betrays us and our ancestors, he also states we should not view forms of media that can lead to mental or emotional toxins as well. Bud talks about both food and material possessions, as gluttony in both areas can lead to suffering in ourselves, and also leads to suffering in society, as too much of both contributes to sloth, greed and other unwholesome actions in the broader community.
Discuss the Noble Eightfold Path (what are its eight limbs?) and how does it relate to the Threefold Training?
The Noble Eightfold Path (NEP), like most ideas laid out by Bud, is a tool used to help us end our suffering. We can group these eight ideas into three areas: wisdom, ethical conduct, and mental development (which are the Threefold Trainings).
Under the wisdom category, we have Right View and Right Intention. Right View encourages us to see things as they really are. Everything just "is". Any sort of reaction we have to the "is" is our brain processing the "is" and making a story to go along with it. Right Intention, to me, is what we do to ourselves to add to our suffering. With Right Intention, we can recognize desires, feelings, and how we get sucked up into them, and can make an intention to not be pulled by feelings and desire. Did that make sense?
Under the category of ethical conduct, we have Right Speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood. Right Speech is pretty self explanatory: just don't say harmful things. Think before you speak. Silence is golden. Don't lie. Right Action encourages us to respect all sentient beings - do not kill, respect the bodies of others, respect our own bodies, and respect the nature of things as they are. Right Livelihood means to earn out living in an honest way, and not in a way that could be contributing to the demise of the Earth, or what I like to call the Greater Good (broader society). So perhaps not being in a position working for a company that manufactures guns and weapons which are sold to child soldiers in Somalia.
In mental development, we see the limbs of Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration. Right Effort, to me, is the act of putting forth effort (duh) to live your life in a mindful way. I guess to prepare the mind for this practice of mindfulness? Right Mindfulness gets into the actual cognitive practices of our mindfulness practices. Following the Four Foundations of Mindfulness (as we've been studying these for the past six months), we can learn to train our minds to see things as they are and not get carried away. In Right Concentration, we learn to develop the mind that helps us follow all these eight limbs! We do this through meditation, and by concentrating on good thoughts and good actions.
I'm sitting here and trying to talk about how these are related to each other but the only question I have running through my mind is how aren't these related to each other? Over the past six months I guess I've just been able to really learn to see how everything is inter-related, inter-being, and inter-are. We can't really take a single limb of the Eightfold Path out, but at the same time, if we did remove one limb, it would be ok because, to me, each limb stresses the importance of recognizing things as they are, respect for everything, and living life in such a way that we create nothing harmful with our words, actions, and thoughts. I might be way out to lunch with that statement, but in reading over everything I just wrote I believe that these tools really are just suggestions as to how we can live our life with minimal suffering - which probably answers my question as to how they are all related to each other.