1h30 pm
on my couch, back supported.

So much reluctance to sit. So stressed out. So upset about so many things. Try to calm my breath, which has been so hard to do lately.

Start to imagine my body decomposing. Feel a smile spread across my lips and wonder why the hell I am thinking this is fun. Feel the flesh come off, exposing facial tissue, ligaments, tendons, muscles. Organs and blood. Bones. I feel my heart rate quicken as I imagine myself a pile of bones. I was ok with the tissues melting away. I'm less ok with this. So hard to imagine bones disintegrating to nothing. With the last piece of dust that was left of me, I built my current manifestation back up again.

I looked down at my cell phone and realized I had either never set my alarm or I sat right through it. Damn.