Places I want to live in before I die
-New York City
-Vancouver
-London

Places I need to see before I die
-India
-Singapore
-South Africa
-Thailand
-Egypt
-Dubai
-Saudi Arabia
-Europe sans Mother
-Russia
-Hong Kong
-Brazil
-Chile
-Mexico
-Japan

***

I can't seem to settle down and be anywhere for long. I cannot express the immense pull I have to leave this city once again. At the same time I want to settle down, find my roots, start a family before its too late. I wish I had more time in this life; more than this life to be able to do all I want to do. I just want to get up and go. Get myself out there. Be someone. Become someone I am proud of. While I know I have much to be proud of, I also think that there is still more to this life than what this is. There's a deeper meaning. There's more of a reason to carry on.

I need to see this beautiful Earth before she dies completely. She's dying, right now, and we're killing her. The human race, which has evolved so far, has made so many advancements to survive over the millenia, is now killing the host which has provided for them so slowly and painfully. We're almost like a plague of locusts, if you think about it. While I am lucky to be living at the time I am living, where I have the freedom to go to school, have a career, be out late at night by myself, or make a choice for my body, I am also ashamed, as I know its my generation, and the few before mine, which have made the Earth what it is today. I am lucky to have experienced everything I have experienced when the Earth was the most bountiful and giving.

I feel such a pull to not be here right now. Like I need to leave Chicago. I don't know why. I am leaving for Hawaii in one month and twenty-six days. Then I come back after five weeks. Then I start school. And the idea of being tied down here for four years is daunting and exhausting, at best. While I will travel in the summer (volunteer work in Africa is an option, and I know I'll be singing in Greece and Austria for master classes) I still just want to pack up my shit, pack up my cat, and tread somewhere else. Why I can't even seem to plant my roots here, I will never know.

Maybe Chicago wasn't my sweet home after all. Although, when I am gone, it constantly calls out to me to come back.

Vagabond. That's the theme for this life. My most fun one, I've been told. Here's hoping.