7h20
20 minutes

Tried to focus on loving kindness meditation, sending it to myself and loved ones. I found myself focusing more on me than on loved ones. I need a hug >.< I forgot how draining the work that I do is... noticed over the past couple weeks how my patience outside of work has become shorter, how I tend to short circuit with those I care about, and my unwillingness to want people to rely on me for choir-related things.

Reflecting on how, now that I'm back to multitasking lots again, I forget things, am not present, am not mindful... it's like I'm currently existing between two worlds and am having trouble combining both of them. I think I'm reacting better to stress (example: have yet to break down but do feel like I'm going to if next week is as awful as this week was) and I don't want to know how I'd be if yoga and meditation weren't in my life... not even as a daily practice, but as a semi regular one. Daily sits and daily yoga practice is suffering though, and I feel tight and wound up. My knees were pretty uncomfortable on my cushion today. Feet fell asleep in halves and found myself getting really angry at that.

Oh, life.

Month five project forthcoming.