MJ Tribute

Excuse the delay in my lamenting, but I have been busy. I feel like I am finally having time to grieve for this, and as I type this, tears are free falling down my cheeks and my hands are shaking. Like, I'm actually hurting over this, which is a really interesting feeling to have for someone I didn't know personally.

I haven't really ever been this affected by a celebrity's death, but I find myself really upset over Michael Jackson's death. Say what you want about him, but I think the man was an absolute genius on so many levels, and truly believe that the child molestation charges laid against him were from a greedy family taking advantage of a vulnerable man with issues and wasn't mentally all there.

Thursday night I was down in Waterloo teaching. Just as I had gone into teach a yoga class, the trades and studio owner and I had just been looking at TMZ.com, which was reporting that MJ had gone into cardiac arrest. When I came out of my class 90 minutes later, I had several text messages on my phone saying he was gone. I was so sad, and it was really difficult for me to get through my next class. I sang my favourite Sanskrit prayer at the end of the class and dedicated it silently to him and his family.

While it sounds dramatic (and it might be, but I think I relate to music differently than a lot of people, and that's ok) I feel like my world was turned a bit upside down. He was gone, MTV was actually playing music videos, and I don't know if we'll ever have as much of a musical genius on this planet again in my lifetime.

Getting back to Toronto on Friday and walking past the memorial at Dundas Square was awesome. It was great to see so many people gathered in one place, street buskers playing his music and busking to his songs. It made my heart swell and my eyes water.

I feel privileged to have seen him perform at a concert in Prague when I was 16 years old. It was an insanely crazy night, and to this day I'm surprised my mom let me go, but given that she was on the other side of the world, she didn't have much choice in the matter. It is something that will live on in my mind and heart forever.

It's not that I really enjoyed listening to his LPs growing up (my mom had Off The Wall, Thriller, and Bad and I listened to them on her record player and danced to them allll the time). I did, and I echo the sentiments of many of my friends when they say they felt a part of their childhood died with him. Its how he was able to transcend all ages, races, sexes, and religions. Michael Jackson was the first musician to successfuly combine pop and R&B music, and was the first black artist to get his videos aired on MTV. That's a HUGE deal. Every single genre of music has sampled or covered a tune of his. So many musicians, dancers and artists have been strongly influence by his tunes, moves, and attitudes.

He made us think, laugh, and brought awareness to the neglected. He encouraged us to do more, be better, and to never give up. He taught us that change starts from within if we want to make this world a better place. His songs reached out to everyone on so many levels. So many of my favourite memories have happened while listening to his songs. I can remember so many road trips with Kristin where were turned on "Smooth Criminal", "The Way You Make Me Feel" and "Thriller" and just rolled down the windows and belted those songs, not caring who heard us or how fast we were driving, or the fact that we were, indeed, trying to moonwalk while sitting down.

Over the years I felt badly for him because it became so apparent how much he hated himself. It was sad to watch him transform into someone who barely looked like a human. He was a man who had so much love and compassion in his heart, donating millions to charity and spreading awareness. In turn so many people loved him. He had such a wide variety of friends who cared for him, but it wasn't even enough and it was so apparent he felt so alone and hated himself. Sadly, that's usually the plight of people who are geniuses.

I hope he's now in a better place where the self loathing is gone, and I hope he can see just how many people were profoundly affected by his music, and by him in general. I truly hope he is happier. My prayers and thoughts are constantly with his family.

It pains me that kids younger than me, and many my age, are only going to remember him as "whacko Jacko". I hope over time those that chastized him will grow to appreciate all he did.

I hope that my children enjoy listening to his music as much as I did when they're growing up.

Here is a list of some of the charities that he donated millions of dollars to:

AIDS Project L.A.
American Cancer Society
Angel Food
Big Brothers of Greater Los Angeles
Brotherhood Crusade
Camp Ronald McDonald
Childhelp U.S.A.
Children's Institute International
Cities and Schools Scholarship Fund
Community Youth Sports & Arts Foundation
Dakar Foundation
Dreamstreet Kids
Dreams Come True Charity
Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation
Juvenile Diabetes Foundation
Make-A-Wish Foundation
Minority Aids Project
The Sickle Cell Research Foundation
Volunteers of America
Wish Granting
YMCA - 28th Street/Crenshaw

His good work was often overshadowed by nasty allegations and the news media covering any negative aspect of his life. Even in his death they proved to have no respect for him. "This is the ambulence transporting Michael Jackson's body." "Here's Michal Jackson's corpse on a stretcher wrapped in a white sheet". Get a fucking life, assholes. But they didn't really respect him when he was alive, so I guess why start now? It's sad.

Again, say what you want, but I do feel as if a friend has passed on. I don't think it makes me overly dramatic, or makes me care too much. I was heavily influenced by his music and by his charity work, and have so many happy memories because of that. I am greatly saddened and feel like the world has lost great advocate and friend. May God bless him and his family, and may his soul be at peace.

Michael, you will always be loved, and your legacy will never be forgotten. Rest in peace, and God bless you.